Spade Braithwaite: The Man Behind the Legend

I was born in 1966, in Oxford, England, the ninth child of poor negro share-croppers from the north.

Actually, that’s not true.  If there had been poor, negro share-croppers in Oxford, in 1966, I'm confident that they would have been my parents, but there weren’t.  So, against my will,  I enjoyed an idyllic, middle class upbringing.

Despite the overwhelming support of my parents, professional counselors, aid groups, humanitarian agencies and my friends, I managed to slip through the cracks in the education system and studied Civil Engineering at Oxford.

Since then I have traveled the world extensively, worked in every appalling industry and had all kinds of fun.

For the past few years I have been a lumberjack in Pennsylvania but I’m beginning to realise that it's a job meant for tough-guys, not effete, English writers.   

I currently live in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and don't like dogs.  I'm not all that keen on cats,  but I really don't like dogs. 

My greatest ambition in all the world is to get a modest advance on one of my novels so that I can fuck-off and spend the rest of my life vagabonding around Asia, writing very competent, formulaic sequels on a lap-top.  Drinking palm-wine and soliciting the local talent.  Meeting my agents and publishers at the airport for their tax-deductible missions to drink beer on tropical beaches.  Rolling home occasionally to accept awards and do promotional tours.  

It's a modest ambition.      

Oh, and George Harrison is my favourite Beatle. 

F.A.Q.’s

Q. Are you gay?
A. No. I’m just a naturally flamboyant character. 

Q. You dress well, and you’re quite sensitive, are you sure you’re not gay?
A. I’m sure I’m not gay.

Q. There’s nothing wrong with being gay...
A. I’M NOT GAY!