Author Bio


Author Bio

Spade Braithwaite: The Man Behind the Legend

In 1966, I was born at home in Oxford, England. My family seemed respectable enough, to the casual eye.

At the age of four, I realized that I was heterosexual while studying the underwear section of the Kay’s catalogue in a pile of magazines at the back of our garage. That was 1970, when underwear was large, warm and comfortable. I make no apologies for my continuing fascination with real women in proper underwear.

My formative years were largely wasted by a local school that regarded actual learning and knowledge as a frivolous pursuit.

Upon escaping school, I travelled the world in every direction, working in every, appalling industry.  So far, I have lived as an an illegal immigrant on three different continents, acquiring all the experience to write genuinely sordid stories of mischief and debauchery observed through a panorama of differing cultural perspectives.   Somewhere along the line I managed to get, “Cogito ergo sum”, tattooed on my penis.  To date, I’ve only had cause to regret the stupid things that I haven’t done.

I currently have multiple nationalities but nowhere that I could call home.

My abiding ambition is to get a modest advance on one of my novels so that I can fuck-off and spend the rest of my life vagabonding around the warm parts of Asia, writing very competent, formulaic sequels on a lap-top. Drinking palm-wine and soliciting the local talent. Meeting my agents and publishers at the airport for their tax-deductible missions to drink beer on tropical beaches. Rolling west occasionally to accept awards and do promotional tours.

It’s a modest ambition.

Oh, and George Harrison was my favourite Beatle.


Q. Are you gay?
A. No. I’m just a naturally flamboyant character.

Q. You dress well, and you’re quite sensitive, are you sure you’re not gay?
A. I’m sure I’m not gay.

Q. There’s nothing wrong with being gay…